An open letter to my friends (and others) exhorting them to buy my buttons! Now!
Dear [INSERT NAME HERE]…
You are truly, deeply, authentically, one of my best friends ever!
[INSERT NAME HERE] — I would NEVER think of spamming you!
Having said that, [INSERT NAME HERE], you KNOW how much I love you! (With condoms, of course!) And for THAT reason, I’m just INFORMING you that IF YOU TAKE ACTION NOW, you’ll be able to BUY MY BADGES at the ridiculously low price of $3 per badge!!!
Some of them are offensive! And some are kinda okay. Depending on who you are, some will be more offensive than others.
And they’re going to be getting MORE outrageous. Cos I’m designing more all the time.
I CAN promise you that I’m aiming at getting onto the hitlists of:
- The Central Intelligence Agency
- The National Rifle Association
- The American Veterans for the Eradication of Leftie Button Designers
In fact, if my buttons are bland, boring, or non-offensive to a democratic majority of people visiting the button shop… well, [INSERT NAME HERE], I will volunteer to suck George W. Bush’s testicles, and then sell the resulting stained dress on eBay, and donate the proceeds to the Organisation for the Torture, Humiliation and Other Mild Discomfort of Iraqi Prisoners on American Soil.
So, to that end, I’m going to be blogging my rough designs and asking people like you, [INSERT NAME HERE], to comment on them.
I WANT to know if they’re even slightly offensive.
I’d like them to be MORE than that.
But slightly offensive is better than nothing. So leave comments. TELL me which ones ‘move’ you.
So please add my blog to your RSS feeder so that my new button ideas reach you even in your sleep. Cos that’s where they’re reaching ME.
The examples here are two of my new ideas for offensive button that’ll make it to the shop. They’re not designed yet. They’re just rough scamps.
That’s enough for now, [INSERT NAME HERE].
And remember, I love you!
Like a [BROTHER/SISTER]!
In Alabama.
Behind the trailer.
Blue skies
love
Roy
PS: The button shop is at http://snipurl.com/buttonshop
PPS: Buy my buttons now, you stinking miser!
PPS: Thanks to Shawn Kopel for declaring something like that ‘Jesus’ line to those two Jehova’s witnesses back in 1990. You rock, boy! And thanks to ArtRage for being such an awesome piece of painting software. I’m using it for pretty much all my work.