Dearest Chi-Chi\/Nancy!<\/p>\n
I really thought terrible things had happened to you. I’m SO glad
you’re alive and well, and ready to send me all of your money!<\/p>\n
I’m also glad to hear that your parents are stone cold dead! The
reason I say such a thing is that I’m also an orphan, having lost
first my father, then my mother. They are both buried under a fig tree
planted by my one-armed brother in Transkei.<\/p>\n
You and I have so much in common.<\/p>\n
One urgent request. I need you to prove your love for me. And the best
and easiest way for you to do this will be to meet one request.<\/p>\n
Do you want to know what my request is?<\/p>\n
If I tell you, will you promise not to laugh?<\/p>\n
Will you promise not to think of me as a dirty old man getting his
jollies over making requests from innocent young women?<\/p>\n
I know that I’m not all THAT old. But you ARE 23. And I AM 39. Please
don’t ask me if I’m turning 40 in February. Because I’m going to have
a surprise party, and you can be the guest of honour. I’ll think of
you as my ‘daughter’.<\/p>\n
The way Woody Allen thinks of his daughter as his ‘daughter’. And
when I become your ‘daddy’, the first thing I’ll do with our money is
send you to spelling lessons. With your permission, of course. Or
should that be ‘permision’?<\/p>\n
Here’s my request…<\/p>\n
Please can you STOP USING FRICKING CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN YOU TYPE YOUR
NEXT EMAIL???!?!<\/p>\n
I’m eagerly, passionately, tumescently, tremulously awaiting your
loving response.<\/p>\n
I love you too, delicate ‘child’.<\/p>\n
Yours, ‘The Schmuck’<\/p>\n
PS: Where’s my money?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
On 11\/01\/2008, chichi helen <chichihelen04@yahoo.com> wrote:
> DEAREST ONE,
>
> THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL, I AM REALLY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND ALSO HAPPY THAT
> YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ME. ACTUALLY I NEVER KNOW HOW YOU WILL FEEL If THIS IS
> TOO EALIER TO TELL YOU”BUT JUST BECAUSE OF THE CONDITION OF WHERE I’M IN
> DAKAR SENEGAL,AS A RESULT OF THE CIVIL WAR THAT WAS FOUGHT IN MY COUNTRY,FOR
> THAT REASON I AM FACING SO MANY DEFFICULTYS IN LIFE AS OF MY AGE,SO DEAR I
> HAVE TO LET YOU KNOW”IF YOU WILL ASSIST ME.
>
> HERE IS MORE ABOUT ME,I AM MISS NANCY BRENT FROM LIBERIA 23 YEARS OLD WITH
> TEARS AND SORROW I EXPLAIN MY SELF IN A HUMBLE MANNER AFTER THE DEATH OF MY
> FATHER MR PAUL BRENT WHO WAS PERSONAL ADVICER TO THE FORMAL HEAD OF STATE
> BECAUSE OF THE POLITICAL CRISIS IN MY COUNTRY WHICH TAKE A LOTS OF SOULS AND
> TENDER MANY HOME HOMELESS, WE NOW DESIDED TO RUN FROM MY COUNTRY WITH MY
> MOTHER, BROTHER ZICO, AND I, BECAUSE LIFE IS MORE PRECCIOUS THAN
> ANYTHING,AND NOTHING WE USE TO REPARE LIFE IF IS TAKING,ALL OF A SUDDEN MY
> BROTHER WHERE KIILLD BY REBELS AND MY MOTHER LATER DIED BECAUSE OF THE
> PAINS OF THE LOST ONES.
>
> AFTER THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER, UNCLE OPA”MY FATHERS BROTHERS STARTED TO
> PERSECUIT ME OVER MY FATHERS PROPERTIES WHICH HE LATER SNATCHED FROM ME
> UNDER TREATING,
>
> SO DEAR BY THE HELP OF A REVREND FATHER I CAME TO DAKAR SENEGAL UNDER
> REFUGEE,INFACT THE MORE I EXPLAIN MY SELF AND SITUATION I SHEAR TEARS WHEN I
> REMEMBER THE PAST, I AM THE ONLY ONE REMAINING IN OUR FAMILY”NOW I AM IN A
> CRITICAL SITUATION,STAYING IN THE REFUGEE’S HOSTEEL HERE, IS LIKE ONE BEEN
> IN PRESON WITH ME,BUT I CAN’T MISLIVE MY LIFE’BECAUSE OF CONDITION,OVER MY
> DIED BODY’BECAUSE THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP BY MY LATE PARENTS I AM PUTING
> ALL MY HEART TO YOU, I HOPE THAT GOD WILL USE YOU TO SAVE MY SOUL.
>
> PLEASE DEAR LISTING TO THIS,I HAVE LATE FATHER’S STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT AND
> THE DEATH CERTIFICATE HERE WITH ME WHICHI WILL SEND TO YOU LETTER WHEN HE
> WAS ALIVE HE DEPOSITED SOME AMOUNT OF MONEY IN A LEADING BANK IN WHICH HE
> USE MY NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN,THE AMOUNT IN QUESTION IS ($5.9MILLION
> DOLLARS US,)
>
> SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO HELP ME IN TRANSFERING OF THIS MONEY AND FROM THERE
> YOU CAN SEND SOME MONEY FOR ME TO GET MY TRAVELLING DOCUMENTS AND AIR
> TICKET,TO COME OVER THERE AND MEET YOU.DEAR I KEPT THIS SECRET TO PEOPLE
> BECAUSE YOU KNOW IS MONEY ISSUE AS SOON AS PEOPLE HERE ABOUT IT NOW ALL EYES
> WILL BE ON IT PLS, THE ONLY PERSON THAT KNOWS ABOUT IT HERE IS THE REVREND
> BECAUSE HE IS LIKE A FATHER TO ME,
>
> IN THE LIGHT OF THE ABOVE I WILL LIKE YOU TO KEEP IT TO YOUR SELF AND PLS
> DON’T LET IT TO BE OPON TO PEOPLE,FOR I AM AFRAID OF MY LIFE AND LOOSING THE
> MONEY IF PEOPLE GETS TO KNOW ABOUT IT,REMEMBER I GIVE THIS INFORMATION TO
> YOU WITH FAITH AND TRUST THAT YOU WILL BE OF HELP TO ME WITH THE HELP OF
> GOD,I LIKE HONEST AND UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE,TRUTHFUL AND A MAN OF
> VISION,MEANWHILE I WILL LIKE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE ON PHONE THOUGH I DON’T HAVE
> CELL PHONE OF MY, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THROUGH THE NUMBER OF THE REV. PASTOR
> THAT IS INCHARGE OF THE CAMP WHERE I AM STAYING..
> HIS NUMBER IS AS FOLLOWS..00221 763475632
> LIKE I SAID I HAVE ALOTS TO TELL YOU IN MY NEXT MAIL OK’ I WILL BE WAITING
> TO HEAR FROM YOU THROUGH EMAIL SOONEST,
>
> HAVE A NICE DAY AND PLS THINK OF ME,NOTE THAT I CONTACTED YOU AFTER MUCH
> PRAYERS AND FASTING. SEE !!!! YOU!!.
> THANKS
> I LOVE YOU
> YOURS NANCY BRENT<\/p><\/blockquote>\n