{"id":409,"date":"2007-01-15T19:32:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-16T01:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/?p=409"},"modified":"2007-01-15T19:32:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-16T01:32:00","slug":"an-open-letter-to-my-friends-and-others-exhorting-them-to-buy-my-buttons-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/an-open-letter-to-my-friends-and-others-exhorting-them-to-buy-my-buttons-now\/","title":{"rendered":"An open letter to my friends (and others) exhorting them to buy my buttons! Now!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear [INSERT NAME HERE]&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You are truly, deeply, authentically, one of my best friends ever!<\/p>\n<p>[INSERT NAME HERE] &#8212; I would NEVER think of spamming you!<\/p>\n<p>Having said that, [INSERT NAME HERE], you KNOW how much I love you! (With condoms, of course!) And for THAT reason, I&#8217;m just INFORMING you that IF YOU TAKE ACTION NOW, you&#8217;ll be able to <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop\">BUY MY BADGES<\/a> at the ridiculously low price of $3 per badge!!!<\/p>\n<p>Some of them are offensive! And some are kinda okay. Depending on who you are, some will be more offensive than others.<\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bp0.blogger.com\/_77gB19IZDW4\/RazbDlDwIFI\/AAAAAAAAAC4\/jd84ESIh-cs\/s1600-h\/SCAMP%2B--%2BI%27m%2BJesus.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bp0.blogger.com\/_77gB19IZDW4\/RazbDlDwIFI\/AAAAAAAAAC4\/jd84ESIh-cs\/s200\/SCAMP%2B--%2BI%27m%2BJesus.jpg?w=605\" alt=\"\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5020628539145199698\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>And they&#8217;re going to be getting MORE outrageous. Cos I&#8217;m designing more all the time.<\/p>\n<p>I CAN promise you that I&#8217;m aiming at getting onto the hitlists of:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The Central Intelligence Agency<\/li>\n<li>The National Rifle Association<\/li>\n<li>The American Veterans for the Eradication of Leftie Button Designers<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In fact, if my buttons are bland, boring, or non-offensive to a democratic majority of people visiting the <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop\">button shop<\/a>&#8230; well, [INSERT NAME HERE], I will volunteer to suck George W. Bush&#8217;s testicles, and then sell the resulting stained dress on eBay, and donate the proceeds to the Organisation for the Torture, Humiliation and Other Mild Discomfort of Iraqi Prisoners on American Soil.<\/p>\n<p>So, to that end, I&#8217;m going to be blogging my rough designs and asking people like you, [INSERT NAME HERE], to comment on them.<\/p>\n<p>I WANT to know if they&#8217;re even slightly offensive.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d like them to be MORE than that.<\/p>\n<p>But slightly offensive is better than nothing. So leave comments. TELL me which ones &#8216;move&#8217; you.<\/p>\n<p>So please add my blog to your RSS feeder so that my new button ideas reach you even in your sleep. Cos that&#8217;s where they&#8217;re reaching ME.<\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bp0.blogger.com\/_77gB19IZDW4\/RazbUlDwIGI\/AAAAAAAAADA\/5epBiiDjE00\/s1600-h\/SCAMP%2B--%2Bdead%2Bpeople%2B--%2Bcondoms.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 177px;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bp0.blogger.com\/_77gB19IZDW4\/RazbUlDwIGI\/AAAAAAAAADA\/5epBiiDjE00\/s200\/SCAMP%2B--%2Bdead%2Bpeople%2B--%2Bcondoms.jpg?w=605\" alt=\"\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5020628831202975842\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>The examples here are two of my new ideas for offensive button that&#8217;ll make it to the <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop\">shop<\/a>. They&#8217;re not designed yet. They&#8217;re just rough scamps.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s enough for now, [INSERT NAME HERE].<\/p>\n<p>And remember, I love you!<\/p>\n<p>Like a [BROTHER\/SISTER]!<\/p>\n<p>In Alabama.<\/p>\n<p>Behind the trailer.<\/p>\n<p>Blue skies<br \/>love<br \/>Roy<\/p>\n<p>PS: The button shop is at <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop\">http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop<\/a><\/p>\n<p>PPS: <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/buttonshop\">Buy<\/a> my buttons now, you stinking miser!<\/p>\n<p>PPS: Thanks to Shawn Kopel for declaring something like that &#8216;Jesus&#8217; line to those two Jehova&#8217;s witnesses back in 1990. You rock, boy! And thanks to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ambientdesign.com\/artrage.html\">ArtRage<\/a> for being such an awesome piece of painting software. I&#8217;m using it for pretty much all my work.<\/p>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\">Roy Blumenthal is a writer, director, artist, and <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/visualfacilitator\">visual facilitator<\/a>. Hire him to make pictures of your meetings or workshops.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear [INSERT NAME HERE]&#8230; You are truly, deeply, authentically, one of my best friends ever! [INSERT NAME HERE] &#8212; I would NEVER think of spamming you! Having said that, [INSERT NAME HERE], you KNOW how much I love you! (With &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/an-open-letter-to-my-friends-and-others-exhorting-them-to-buy-my-buttons-now\/\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">An open letter to my friends (and others) exhorting them to buy my buttons! Now!<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p521FP-6B","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=409"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}