Last night I was sitting at the Seattle Coffee Company in Hyde Park, with a whole bunch of books from the Exclusive Books next door.<\/p>\n
One of them was ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS by Janet geringer Woititz.<\/p>\n
She lists a whole bunch of characteristics of adult children of alcoholics, and goes into detail about each one, with some thoughts on how to overcome these things.<\/p>\n
When I looked at the list, I was gobsmacked. I’m a ‘yes’ to many of the items. (My mom was an alcoholic from around the time I was born, and my dad was abusive.)<\/p>\n
This is her list. It applies to loads of people… pretty much anyone who grew up in an environment of abuse (alcohol, substance, gambling, emotion, physical, sexual) will have some of these characteristics.<\/p>\n
Adult children of alcoholics…<\/p>\n
I was very surprised about this list. I spent a lot of time reading the book. Learning about how these things manifest. On the last point… I would NEVER have accused myself of being impulsive. But in actual fact, I am.<\/p>\n
Breaking up with ‘S’ was an impulsive act. I felt ‘compelled’ to clear up a specific issue, and that led to really awful behaviour on my part, putting ‘S’ on the spot, and giving her no options.<\/p>\n
Luckily, most people have some of these characteristics. It’s just that adult children of alcoholics DON’T KNOW WHAT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR IS. So we tend to think that our own behaviours ‘don’t fit’, or are abnormal. So while a certain amount of impulsivity is normal for people, when I experience it in myself, it seems overblown, crazy, too much. So I come down hard on myself. With no mercy. Yup. Hard stuff.<\/p>\n
But it can be dealt with. And that’s what therapy is for.<\/p>\n