{"id":359,"date":"2006-07-28T10:27:00","date_gmt":"2006-07-28T16:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/?p=359"},"modified":"2006-07-28T10:27:00","modified_gmt":"2006-07-28T16:27:00","slug":"2006-07-27-illustration-friday-clean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/2006-07-27-illustration-friday-clean\/","title":{"rendered":"2006-07-27 Illustration Friday — Clean"},"content":{"rendered":"
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2006-07-27 Illustration Friday — Clean<\/a>
Originally uploaded by royblumenthal<\/a>. <\/span><\/div>\n

The topic for Illustration Friday<\/a> this week is ‘Clean’.<\/p>\n

Which gives me the excuse to paint my bathroom. And to reflect a bit on clean starts in relationships.<\/p>\n

I’m working through a book called PARTNERING: A New Kind Of Relationship<\/a>, by Hal Stone & Sidra Stone. It’s awesome.<\/p>\n

Their main premises are:<\/p>\n

1. An individual is made up of several selves… primary selves and discarded selves.<\/p>\n

2. We attract into our lives people who ‘carry’ our discarded selves.<\/p>\n

3. We manifest different selves depending on context, and what self our partner is presenting to us.<\/p>\n

4. These selves interact differently with each other.<\/p>\n

5. Being aware of which self is communicating (in both you and your partner) clears the way for compassionate and unloaded commuication and loving.<\/p>\n

6. Being presented with your discarded selves is a gift to allow you to reclaim them, and operate from a place they call ‘the aware ego’.<\/p>\n

7. Integrating these selves gives you balance, and allows harmonious relationship.<\/p>\n

I wrote ‘S’ a long email last night, trying to offer her a glimpse of the turmoil within me. Parts of me reallllly love her and want her. Other ‘selves’ within me are irritated with her, angry with her.<\/p>\n

I wanted her to see that this is NOT a simple, cut-and-dried case of ‘we’re not a good match’. Cos we ARE a good match. We’ve got powerful stuff to teach each other and learn from each other.<\/p>\n

It’s weird. I’m about a quarter of the way through the book, and it’s like a weight has been lifted off me. I’ve been trying to be perfect for ‘S’. And I’ve kind of expected and demanded that she be perfect for me.<\/p>\n

Now, I’m sitting here feeling grateful to her for showing me the parts of myself that I need to get back in touch with. Cos those discarded selves she ‘carries’ are the bits I threw away through co-dependence and abuse as a child.<\/p>\n

If you want to start cleaning up your relationship, I seriously recommend that you get this book<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This painting was made using ArtRage 2.11<\/a> on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc. And no… the water wasn’t running while I painted.
<\/p>\n

Roy Blumenthal is a writer, director, artist, and visual facilitator<\/a>. Hire him to make pictures of your meetings or workshops.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

2006-07-27 Illustration Friday — Clean Originally uploaded by royblumenthal. The topic for Illustration Friday this week is ‘Clean’. Which gives me the excuse to paint my bathroom. And to reflect a bit on clean starts in relationships. I’m working through …<\/p>\n

2006-07-27 Illustration Friday — Clean<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p521FP-5N","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=359"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/359\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}