{"id":155,"date":"2004-07-24T05:04:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-24T11:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/?p=155"},"modified":"2004-07-24T05:04:00","modified_gmt":"2004-07-24T11:04:00","slug":"karens-place-northgate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/karens-place-northgate\/","title":{"rendered":"Karen&#8217;s Place, Northgate"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"date-header\">Saturday, July 24, 2004<\/h2>\n<p><i>Service: * * * * *<br \/>\n<br \/>   Food: * * * * *<br \/>\n<br \/>   Ambience: * * * * *<br \/>\n<br \/>   Babe Count: * * * * *<\/i>       <\/p>\n<p>Okay, so I&#8217;ve got some adjustments to make, aside from things sexual.       <\/p>\n<p>See, I&#8217;m a cat person. And Karen is a dog person. The redeeming factor is that she has a cat, Norman, who makes up for the five Dachshunds waddling around the place. Norman makes up for the five dogs in sheer bulk. <\/p>\n<p>Norman the cat is about the same size as a thirteen-year-old MacDonalds       eating choirboy with a stamp collection.<\/p>\n<p>Norman isn&#8217;t fat. Norman is immense.<\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;m on the couch with Karen. And two of her artworks are on the walls. And they&#8217;re works I&#8217;ve seen and admired many years ago when they were on the Martiensen student exhibition at Wits. They&#8217;re large oil paintings, featuring pigs in strange surroundings. One&#8217;s at a sort of banquet, and the other is in a large room dangling off a circus trapeze. This woman is an awesome artist. Wow stuff.<\/p>\n<p>And there&#8217;s a steaming scoop of homemade chicken pie on my plate. Along with browned mashed potatoes. She can cook! Brilliantly!<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Is this your seduction dish?&#8221; I ask.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re going to propose before dessert,&#8221; she says. &#8220;And if you haven&#8217;t done by then, the dessert will push you over the edge.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re sitting side by side on the sofa, listening to the ominous sound of the East German heavy metal band, Rammstein. First time I&#8217;ve heard them, and they&#8217;re not really as hard as their name would seem to imply. Violins and weird choral stuff. Fairly disturbing, but pleasant. It&#8217;s amazing to me that I&#8217;ve stayed away from most heavy metal just cos of the names of the bands. Well, not JUST cos of the names. A lot of metal just sucks. But in this case, it&#8217;s kinda okay.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Can I borrow this?&#8221; I ask, flipping through the pages of a       book she took out of her cupboard.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I insist,&#8221; she says. &#8220;But you&#8217;ve got to promise to       bring it back to me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You have my word,&#8221; I say. The book is a practical manual, written by a professional dominatirx who switched to being submissive. It&#8217;s called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/detail\/-\/0806524006\/barefootpress\">EROTIC       SURRENDER: The Sensual Joys of Female Submission<\/a>, by Claudia Varrin. (If you have any thoughts as to whether or not this mode of sexuality is in any way for you, buy this book. At the very least, it&#8217;ll blow your mind. The link here is to Amazon.com, and I make a tiny commission on it if you buy it from here. Yup. I&#8217;ll be rich, with everyone flocking to explore this side of their sexuality.)<\/p>\n<p>The dessert almost pushes me over the edge. But Liz says, &#8220;Nah nah nah! No proposing! Cos if you do, I&#8217;ll refuse!&#8221; Okay. Off the hook. The dessert is a homemade tiramisu. Oh man. This woman&#8217;s just concentrated babeage.<\/p>\n<p>And she loves the fact that I went trawling the junk shops for paraphernalia for me to use in making love with her. I&#8217;ve found a lovely, thick, soft rope, which I&#8217;m kinda working out how best to employ. The real trick is how to attach it to other bits of rope for maximum&#8230; uh&#8230; pleasure. She fondles a different piece of rope. It&#8217;s about two metres long, and is ultra soft. Feels like it could be silk. And it&#8217;s thick enough so that it won&#8217;t dig into her wrists and hurt her.<\/p>\n<p>She&#8217;s not so sure about the plastic cable ties I got from the hardware store. &#8220;Whenever you use things like this,&#8221; she says, &#8220;you must make sure you&#8217;ve got a knife handy. Always plan for emergencies.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Safety first, basically. I pull out my Swiss Army knife.<\/p>\n<p>We go to the bedroom and shoo the dogs out. We close the door.<\/p>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\">Roy Blumenthal is a writer, director, artist, and <a href=\"http:\/\/snipurl.com\/visualfacilitator\">visual facilitator<\/a>. Hire him to make pictures of your meetings or workshops.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saturday, July 24, 2004 Service: * * * * * Food: * * * * * Ambience: * * * * * Babe Count: * * * * * Okay, so I&#8217;ve got some adjustments to make, aside from things &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/karens-place-northgate\/\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Karen&#8217;s Place, Northgate<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p521FP-2v","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}