Service: * * * 1\/2
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Food: N\/A
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Ambience: * * *
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Babe Count: * * *
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<\/i>Phone: +27 11 883 4913<\/b><\/p>\n
Not much is open after the play. It’s not TOO late. Only about 10:30 or 11:00pm. What’s wrong with these places???<\/p>\n
So we’re at Mugg & Bean, having ascertained that they’re still willing to serve us coffee.<\/p>\n
“Let’s not talk about the play,” says Bianca.<\/p>\n
And she’s right. We can’t. One of my friends stars in it, Ashley Dowds, and his performance is good. But the play isn’t. It’s just lame.<\/p>\n
Bianca says, “I can’t believe it’s an award winning play.”<\/p>\n
“Where??? Where did it win awards?”<\/p>\n
“In Britain.”<\/p>\n
Basically, the play is about a psychiatric institution somewhere in Britain. A junior psychiatrist wants to commit his patient. The supervisor wants to release the patient. Turns out that the patient thinks that the orange oranges sitting in a fruit bowl are actually blue. Not just the skin, the insides too. And there’s a disturbing incident in his past in which it is implied that it’s possible that this nutcase has actually had sex with an orange. Shock and horror!!!<\/p>\n
Pah!<\/p>\n
I’ve had sex with a cucumber before. Not just once. (This is strictly a male masturbation thing I’m revealing here. It was told to me by a good friend of mine now living in Cape Town, and I tried it, and it works. Open your mind before you read further. Right… this is what you do… you buy a cucumber of above-average girth. You take it home, cut a section about ten centimetres long. Use a teaspoon to hollow out the flesh, so you’ve got a cylinder. Be sure to not take out TOO much flesh. You want a fairly tight fit. Soak the hollowed out cucumber in hot water for a minute or so to heat it up to body temperature. Apply cucumber to erection and manipulate. According to my good friend in Cape Town, the inside of a cucumber is the closest vegetable simulation of the inside of a vagina known to man. I’ll vouch for that.)<\/p>\n
So what’s the outrage when a psychiatric patient shags an orange??? Aside from the fact that he must be out of his mind, cos it stings, shouldn’t somebody tell him to use a cucumber instead? <\/p>\n