{"id":114,"date":"2004-05-15T05:14:00","date_gmt":"2004-05-15T11:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/?p=114"},"modified":"2004-05-15T05:14:00","modified_gmt":"2004-05-15T11:14:00","slug":"hendrik-neeltjies-place-parkhurst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/hendrik-neeltjies-place-parkhurst\/","title":{"rendered":"Hendrik & Neeltjie’s Place, Parkhurst"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saturday, May 15, 2004<\/h2>\n

Service: N\/A
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Food: N\/A
\n
Ambience: *
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Babe Count: * * * * *<\/i><\/p>\n

\"OneOkay, so I’m exaggerating the babe count. Dramatically.<\/p>\n

This is because I’m at a friend’s baby shower. Sheesh. I thought baby showers were like weddings… places to pick up chicks. Chicks desperate to shag, seeing as they’re broody and all that.<\/p>\n

But no. What I didn’t really figure into the equation is that the babes who go to baby showers are mostly married, with children, and wedding rings, and houses, and dogs.<\/p>\n

Antoinette’s opening all her presents. I can hear her going, “Ooooooooo! This is beautiful!!!” It’s a tiny purple babygro. I can see its reflection in the mirror. I’m in the dining room, eating my seven-hundredth cold sausage roll. It’s not that I’m hungry. I’m just in terminal soft-on territory. <\/p>\n

A baby shower must be one of the most effective forms of male contraception available to humankind.<\/p>\n

Although, the redhead with the platinum ring and the husband who drives a BMW Z3 is quite appealing. If only I could get rid of the husband. And any yearnings on her part to have babies. <\/p>\n

Roy Blumenthal is a writer, director, artist, and visual facilitator<\/a>. Hire him to make pictures of your meetings or workshops.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday, May 15, 2004 Service: N\/A Food: N\/A Ambience: * Babe Count: * * * * * Okay, so I’m exaggerating the babe count. Dramatically. This is because I’m at a friend’s baby shower. Sheesh. I thought baby showers were …<\/p>\n

Hendrik & Neeltjie’s Place, Parkhurst<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p521FP-1Q","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royblumenthal.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}