From the monthly archives:

June 2006

2006-06-30 S at Amper Bo Guesthouse Pretoria

by Roy Blumenthal on June 30, 2006

A few weeks ago, I did the unbearably romantic thing. I invited S to a quick one-night getaway at a luxury guesthouse.

I chose to book at a place called AMPER BO in Pretoria.

Why Pretoria, you might ask? Well… simply put… S finished performing in the second show on that Sunday at around 9pm, and I wanted our getaway to be less than an hour’s drive away.

Why AMPER BO, you might ask, particularly if you translate that from the Afrikaans and get the ambiguous, ‘Almost There’ or ‘Almost at the Top’?

Well, cos I fell for the online marketing. It mentioned the fact that AMPER BO is a Herbert Baker mansion. And so on. Hype. Phrases like, built on a ‘hill that is still a restricted nature reserve’.

So I phoned the place. Asked for some info. Got the hype verified.

‘But,’ I said, before sealing the deal, ‘I’d just like to know… does the room have a fireplace?’ It’s mid-winter in South Africa.

‘No,’ said the manageress. ‘But the living room has a fireplace, and you’re welcome to spend time there.’

So. Off to Pretoria in the middle of the night on a cold Sunday.

And we reach the Herbert Baker mansion. And it looks kinda alluring in the dark. But the manageress meets us at the gate.

‘You’re in the other house,’ she says. ‘Please follow me in your car.’

So we get to a normal suburban house three-minutes away. And she shows us the living room. It DOES have a fireplace. But there’s no fire. And it looks like the chimney isn’t connected to the fireplace. And she’s not offering to light it.

Our room is okay. It’s got a bad art reproduction of some lions on the wall.

The clincher is when Susan says, ‘Have a lovely night. You’re the only guests in this part of the guesthouse tonight. But, uhm, uh, my bedroom is this one here.’

She shows us a door. Her bedroom is right next to ours. She asks us about breakfast times and preferences, and goes to sleep. Leaving us to cavort rather mutedly. (I take a few naked pics of S so that I can draw her later. This pic is the result of one of those pics.)

We’re pretty darned hungry, and it’s around eleven o’clock. So we look under Susan’s door, and the light is out. And we sneak into the kitchen with my torch. We open all the cupboards and the two fridges. And they’re completely empty.

Then my torch beam falls on a sign against the wall.

‘Do not open cupboards & fridges in the kitchen.’

We go to sleep.

The phone rings for breakfast. ‘Please come to the main guesthouse for breakfast,’ says Susan.

‘Can’t you bring it here?’ says S.

‘Uhm, no.’

So, on the way to breakfast, we pay a visit to the kitchen first, and steal the sign. Which is now in MY kitchen. And woe betide anyone who disobeys.

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Wow. What appalling service from Vodacom. I’m so angry I can hardly type.

Here’s the chain of events that started this…

I’m sick in bed with flu right now. An incoming sms beep woke me up. ‘Cool,’ I thought, ‘my girlfriend.’

It wasn’t my girlfriend. It was Bogart Rosebank, a clothing store, with the following message:

‘Our Winter Sale has started at Bogart Rosebank and Woodlands Pretoria,
All shoes up to 25% and selected clothing items, offers at Eli,
selected items up to 25%.’

Now this is not the first Bogart sms I’ve received. I’ve probably
gotten at least 20 of them in the past months. Now I’ve phoned Bogart
before to ask them to remove my cellphone number from their spam list.
Aside from the fact that I didn’t ASK to receive their spam in the
first place, I’m not in their target market, and I despise their
clothing.

So today when this sms came, I tried replying to the sms. But for some reason, that option wasn’t available. ‘Odd,’ I thought.

I checked message details. Instead of a number in the number field, a company name appears. It’s a company called Logic SMS.

I phoned Vodacom’s directory listings service, and asked for Logic
SMS’s telephone number. It doesn’t exist. I phoned Telkom and asked the
same thing. Logic SMS doesn’t exist in their books.

So I decided to do the next best thing. To cut this off at the source.
Vodacom is the company ALLOWING these spam smss to get through, so
they’re obliged to make them stop.

I was on hold for 17 minutes before a pleasant lady called Rowy spoke to me.

‘Hi Rowy,’ I said. And I explained that I wanted Vodacom to stop this spam from being allowed to get to my phone.

She couldn’t help me. At first she suggested that I should phone
Autopage Cellular, my service provider. I explained that this has
nothing to do with me or my service provider, and has to do with the
company allowing sms spam to get through the lines, namely Vodacom. She
saw it differently. ‘You need to phone Bogart themselves,’ she
explained.

‘May I speak to your supervisor?’ I said.

And I got through to Charlton. He was also very pleasant. But he was
toeing the party line. ‘Vodacom isn’t responsible for the sms. Bogart
is. You need to speak to them to get you off the list.’

‘Nope. You guys are the people who let the spam through, so you guys
are the ones who need to stop it. I do not have any opt-out options,
which you guys are obliged to provide. So I’m holding you responsible.
May I speak to your supervisor please?’

So I got through to Nita Rudman. ‘Nita,’ I said, ‘I am receiving spam
smss from a company, and I’d like Vodacom to make this stop.’

‘Impossible,’ she said. ‘You have to phone the company that’s sending the smss.’

‘May I speak with your supervisor, please?’

‘Can you explain WHY you want to speak to my supervisor?’

‘Yes. I’d like your supervisor to take action and make the spam smss stop.’

‘I’ve already exlpained to you that it’s not Vodacom’s responsibility to do this…’

‘May I speak to your supervisor please?’

‘Only if you explain why you want to speak to my supervisor.’

‘I’ve already explained, and I’ve now been on the phone for
thirty-seven minutes, and I want to speak to your supervisor please.
What is your supervisor’s name?’

‘Xavier.’

‘May I speak with Xavier, please?’

‘Only when you’ve explained what you want to talk to Xavier about.’

This continued, on and on and on. At a certain point, I said, ‘Nita,
are you familiar with a technique called ‘broken record’? That’s where
I repeat my request over and over until you put me through to Xavier?’

‘Yes, I’m familiar with the technique and I can also use it,’ she said. And proceeded to use it.

I got her name. And asked for her email address. ‘I’m not going to give
you my email address,’ she said. ‘I’ll give you the email address of
customer care.’

‘I don’t need customer care’s email address, Nita, I need yours,
because I want to cc you into the correspondence I have with your
superiors.’

‘Well you can’t have my email address. You can have my employee number. It’s 9177.’

‘Is this call being recorded?’ I asked. ‘Cos I hope your superiors listen to it.

And then I put the phone down.

And composed this blog post, which I’m emailing to
dot.field@vodacom.co.za. She’s Group Executive — Corporate
Communications at the company, and I’m sure she’ll be saddened by the
poor training her staff are receiving at dealing with customers such as
me.

Dot… here are my requests:

1. Please stop Bogart/LogicSMS spam from entering my phone. The number is 082 659 3165.

2. Make it possible for all South Africans to opt out of spam.

3. Train your staff to handle queries like this.

4. Please listen to the phone recording of my chat with Nita, and note how awfully she treated me.

5. Please ask Nita Rudman, 9177, to email me an apology for the way she spoke to me.

6. Please get back to me with news about what’s being done.

Thanks very much.

Blue skies
love
Roy

This post appears on Coffee-Shop Schmuck and The Technology Circle.

UPDATE: Friday 30 June 2006, around 3pm: I get a phone call from a service technician at Vodacom. He asks me for all of the details that were on the spam sms. I get the message up on my phone, and give him what he needs. I still haven’t received any official communications from Vodacom besides this one. I’ll update as and when.

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2006-06-24 Emily Martin — Black Apple

by Roy Blumenthal on June 24, 2006

Emily Martin is an artist/crafter with a blog called ‘Inside a Black Apple‘. I came across her work on Seth Godin’s blog.

Go take a look at her online store, and get some inspiration on how you might make a living as an artist. I’m inspired by her.

Yesterday she posted a self portrait on her blog, and I just couldn’t resist having a go at it.

This drawing was made using Alias Sketchbook Pro 2.0 on my Toshiba Tecra M4 tablet pc.

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2006-06-23 Illustration Friday — Rain

June 23, 2006

2006-06-23 Illustration Friday — Rain Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
This week’s Illustration Friday topic is ‘Rain’. I’m drawing really fast at the moment, cos I’ve only got about an hour and a half before I need to get into my car and whizz off to the theatre.
S, [...]

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2006-06-18 iMomus (Nick Currie)

June 18, 2006

2006-06-18 iMomus (Nick Currie) Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
This is the full-colour version of iMomus (Nick Currie), the dude who writes Click opera, an art-fiend’s must-read.
According to his blog, he wears ear-muffs to give himself quiet-time.
I recently ran a performance-poetry workshop for schoolkids at St John’s College [...]

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2006-06-17 Drawing by Roy based on Lindy Hop by Sauerkraut

June 17, 2006

2006-06-17 Drawing by Roy based on Lindy Hop by Sauerkraut Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
This week’s Illustration Friday topic is ‘Dance’.
So I headed over to stock.xchng, my favourite free-photo site, and did a search for pics to do with dancing. Funnily enough, the keyword I used [...]

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2006-06-16 Robert Scoble Exits Microsoft

June 16, 2006

2006-06-16 Robert Scoble Exits Microsoft Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
Just six days ago the blogging world went mad when Robert Scoble confirmed the rumours that he was no longer ‘The Microsoft Blogger’.
He’s one of the bloggers I read every day. I simply like the guy’s ethics, [...]

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2006-06-16 Based on ‘A Day In The Life’ by maryanne_b

June 16, 2006

2006-06-16 Based on ‘A Day In The Life’ by maryanne_b Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
Hmmmmmm. A very satisfying experiment for me. When I first caught a glimpse of maryanne_b’s pic, ‘A Day in the Life‘, I KNEW I had to see if I could tackle smoke successfully. [...]

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2006-06-11 Bathroom

June 11, 2006

2006-06-11 Bathroom Originally uploaded by royblumenthal.
I’ve been having a restful day today, lying in bed with my tablet pc, surfing the web and drawing. S is performing in two shows today… the matinee and an evening show.
I’ve booked us a one-night getaway in a bed & [...]

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Illustration Friday: Jungle

June 11, 2006

The topic for this week’s Illustration Friday is ‘Jungle’. I did five pics some time ago featuring wild animals. So…
Here’s my buffalo:

And here’s a chimp:

This is a hippopotamus:

Followed by an elephant:

Crowned by a lion:

All of these drawings were made on my iPAQ 2210 palmtop computer, using a piece of shareware called Mobile Atelier.
Roy Blumenthal is [...]

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